So flash back to a week ago. I'm driving in my car and I'm listening to a worship song called "I wanna go back" by David Dunn. Basically, the song is about wanting to go back to how easy things were when David was a kid. The lyric sang:
"I wanna go back
To Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
I wanna go back
To this little light
Gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine
I wanna go back"
Think back to when you were a little kid. How many things did you really have to worry about? When I was little, one of my biggest upsets was the time I couldn't go to Brielle Duffy's birthday party because I fought with my little brother too much that day. We are clothed, we are fed, we are given a home to live in, toys to play with, and love to be received. We are fully dependant on our parents' provision for us, we don't understand or even register how or why they do it, and we trust them without question.
When this song played in my car I heard God say to me, "Remember what that was like? Remember how secure and peaceful you felt? That's what I am giving you still."
As an adult, the world looks a lot different. All the responsibilities we were once so naively unaware of are now ours to carry. It's so easy to get lost in bills that need to be paid, relationships that need tending, birthday parties that need throwing, sins that need repenting for, apologies that need to be made, deadlines that need to be met- the list could literally go on forever. We get lost in all the messiness that life brings and we rely on our own abilities and strength to get us through.
We don't have to.
We grasp at our own strength and ability, we grasp at things we want or things we think will make us happy, we grasp at the security of money or a steady job, we grasp at someone who we think will fulfill us. These things aren't bad, they're gifts, but they are fleeting, they are not secure and what we should be grasping at is the one thing that is: Him. He is the giver of all gifts, the maker of all things, and childlike dependency is what He desires from all of us.
Let's go back to when you were little again. When you were sick where did you go? When you were sad where did you go? When you needed food or new clothes or money where did you go? Probably your parents.
What a gift it is that we have a God that wants to provide for every single need we could ever have. I pray that it becomes first instinct for us to run to God when we are weak. I pray that it becomes our first instinct for us to depend on Him for everything. I pray that it becomes our first instinct to reach for Him to fulfill us.